As we lay there silently recalling what just happened. The moans, screams, the several orgasms. We lay on each side of him, both biding for his affection. Me, the lioness getting secretly jealous, I kiss him softly on his neck and he turns over while holding me. “I WON,” I scream inside, he’s mine tonight. You’ve had him every other time now it’s my turn. He holds me tight while whispering the sweetest nasty shit I ever heard, making me wet all over again. Such a sweet misery, as he bites me softly on the back further accelerating the pulsation in my pussy-then it happened. She moaning. She moaning louder. She coming….again. His attention is split, I’m losing, gotta get him back. Too late. He’s holding her now. She content. She’s winning. I look over at them sleeping, she’s smiling while rubbing his face. The inner psychopath Inside of me is screaming “ DO SOMETHING, ANYTHING”. I retreat melancholy filled. Sad. Lonely. Lonelier than when we first started.
1.12.10
24.11.10
Updates
It didn't work.
He just wants to be friends.
I want a husband.
On to the next.
Perhaps, Maybe not.
He just wants to be friends.
I want a husband.
On to the next.
Perhaps, Maybe not.
8.11.10
An update on my crush
So it seems my crush has taken a liking to my voice! Oh yeah...we've spoken. just about everyday since the first day he called me. I sincerely like him. His kooky attitude and dark humor make die of laughter. I know, I know...I'm being hella corny...but IDC, he makes me listen and teaches me so much. The only thing on my mind still is friendship. Until he helps that along.
Random
Random
19.10.10
The RECENT me
Trice
Spending late nights with him
As it seems my crush has me some what smitten. Not in that gushy state. Just in that thinking stage. I think it has to do with the fact that I have never heard his voice!
Yes ladies and gents, we have only been communicating threw text. We text for hours about everything from, Metaphysics to Work out regiments.
He has my mind wondering, Not about sex or marriage-but about the possibility of his friendship. As i sit here listening to sound scapes, I wonder, do you think of me like I think of you?
Peace
Trice
Yes ladies and gents, we have only been communicating threw text. We text for hours about everything from, Metaphysics to Work out regiments.
He has my mind wondering, Not about sex or marriage-but about the possibility of his friendship. As i sit here listening to sound scapes, I wonder, do you think of me like I think of you?
Peace
Trice
31.8.10
An ode to Strength
To keep the body in good health is a duty... otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.
Buddha
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
Mohandas Gandhi
Admiration for a quality or an art can be so strong that it deters us from striving to possess it.
Friedrich Nietzsche
He who conquers others is strong; He who conquers himself is mighty.
Lao Tzu
Buddha
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
Mohandas Gandhi
Admiration for a quality or an art can be so strong that it deters us from striving to possess it.
Friedrich Nietzsche
He who conquers others is strong; He who conquers himself is mighty.
Lao Tzu
This school mess is maney!
So, today i went to see my advisor and she informed that 3 out of the 4 class i added i didn't need! WTF? So you mean i spent money and time i didn't have too! ugh! I guess this is one of the pitfalls of school...but then i think of all good that is happening and i smile! Thank you God! i'm soooo blessed!
29.4.10
Look closer
Look closer.....
I sincerely didn’t want my life to be as complicated as it. Shit just happens. Then I hear a little voice inside of me saying “you and you alone are sum of actions, those preformed or abandoned.” These days I fell tricked or just sedated.
Aloof.
I’ve detached myself from my heart and head. I shut myself out to tune my soul into a place that doesn’t resemble reality. I’ve learned to wallow and I hate it. On the brink of tears damn near everyday-because I allowed myself to dream and wish of a life I wished I had-with him. Hoping that giving him my body would make him see how much I’m willing to sacrifice just to be with him. But reality comes full force, no hold barred. Laughing in non-existent. Sleep is my only solace, but then the mistakes I’ve made find my in my dreams, yelling at me for choosing a certain death over a certain freedom. The freedom of knowing your worth, knowing your status, knowing he’s holding and kissing you because he sincerely likes you-not what you have to offer. I haven’t cried in so long; I’m scared to start now. Sitting here wondering why would I risk my life for the thought of what could be?
Today-I’m sad
I sincerely didn’t want my life to be as complicated as it. Shit just happens. Then I hear a little voice inside of me saying “you and you alone are sum of actions, those preformed or abandoned.” These days I fell tricked or just sedated.
Aloof.
I’ve detached myself from my heart and head. I shut myself out to tune my soul into a place that doesn’t resemble reality. I’ve learned to wallow and I hate it. On the brink of tears damn near everyday-because I allowed myself to dream and wish of a life I wished I had-with him. Hoping that giving him my body would make him see how much I’m willing to sacrifice just to be with him. But reality comes full force, no hold barred. Laughing in non-existent. Sleep is my only solace, but then the mistakes I’ve made find my in my dreams, yelling at me for choosing a certain death over a certain freedom. The freedom of knowing your worth, knowing your status, knowing he’s holding and kissing you because he sincerely likes you-not what you have to offer. I haven’t cried in so long; I’m scared to start now. Sitting here wondering why would I risk my life for the thought of what could be?
Today-I’m sad
11.3.10
8.3.10
24.2.10
Adenike.Amin&Raja Sankofa Thank you
This is the mark of a really admirable woman: steadfastness in the face of trouble....
inspired by Adenike Amin & Raja Sankofa
Thank you
inspired by Adenike Amin & Raja Sankofa
Thank you
22.2.10
The baby doll test-circa 2010
Being the great auntie I am I decided to take my nieces along with my brother in laws niece and nephews to the Lawrence Hall of Science this weekend. I had never been and they had a new exhibit up entitled “Race: are we so different”, being an African American Studies major I jumped at the opportunity to expose my nieces to something that I thought would benefit me as well as them. As we entered the exhibit the first thing I noticed was a huge banner with one face made up of many faces with a huge sign across the bottom, it read: “does skin color make race?” I asked my nieces to read it out loud so they could hear it for themselves, kind of like an affirmation thing. The whole exhibit was made up of different posts with several controversial topics, I feared these would go over my nieces heads, how wrong was I. My nieces and I traveled to every post including the “voice test”, in which you had a screen in front of you with several different faces and you had to choose who was speaking, we also went to the “personality screen” where you had to decide whether or not someone was mean or nice just by looking at their face-but in the middle if the exhibit laid a play area with several baby dolls. I took my nieces to the area to unknowingly to perform the “baby doll test” on them. The results were unforgettable. My older nieces Tiajayne 9, Turmeisha 7 were busy looking at Barak Obama, when my youngest niece Taliah 5 sat down with me to play with the dolls. Right next to my niece was a little white girl (name unknown), she was sitting rather close to my niece and eyeing us very carefully as her father watched her watch us. I asked my niece in my auntie-like tone “which one is the pretty one?” She held up the white doll. I asked “which one is the smart one”? Same result. I asked "which one is the boss and which one works for the boss?” She held up the black doll to indicate that one was the one who was the worker. As I continued to ask my niece several questions about why she thought the black doll was ugly and did she think she was ugly, the little white girl moved closer the hear what we were saying more clearly. Then I decided to drop the bomb ,“which one has the pretty hair?” My niece looked at me as if she didn't want to hurt my feeling, but spoke her mind anyway. “This doll has the pretty hair auntie” she said holding up the white doll. I was shocked. I was shocked because the dolls had the same exact hair! Both were made with yarn in the same exact style-except one had red hair (the white doll) and one had black hair (the black doll). My niece looked at the little white girl sitting next to us then looked down. We continued to talk and I asked her “what’s pretty hair?” She pointed to the black doll and said “not that one”. The black doll as well as the white one’s hair was very similar to mines and her. My nieces and I both have synthetic single braids in our head. My older niece Tiajayne said “sister is your hair ugly”? She said “umm, no...but..I...Kinda…mean...that…” SHE MEANS PRETTY LIKE MINES” shouted the little white girl. Immediately her father picked her up and whisked her away. Me and nieces sat there for another 15 minutes discussing beauty, hair and what it means to be beautiful-we didn’t see the little white girl and her father again. I pride myself on be being afrocentric and passing it to nieces, hoping that they embrace their natural beauty and hair. I promised myself that from that day on I would make it my mission to inform my nieces of their greatness and by leading by example next time hopefully the baby doll test will come out differently.
2.2.10
Grandma's Hand
So, for the longest time I've kind of obsessed with genealogy (the study of lineage from your home country). I've been spending more time with my grandmother Ms. De'essie Jefferson. One day after attending an assembly at my nieces school dedicated to Martin Luther King Jr., i decided to go spend some time with my grandma. I walked in to hear her on the phone as always and found her with a huge smile on her face. We began to make small talk about her health and my schooling and then the conversation turned-i couldn't have been more blessed or excited about the next hour of conversation that took place.
Me: So grandmama when you going back to Mississippi?
Grandma: Never! ain't nothing back there for me!
Me: All your folks back there...
Gmama:....
Me: grandmama do you remember your mother? Was she sweet?
Gmama: Was she? the nicest person i ever met. She taught me everything i know..about cooking, cleaning, taking care of children..
Me: What did she do for a living?
Gmama: cleaned up after white folks..see you my kids was spoiled. They used to mop the floor, i used a brush and scrubbed the floor. We used the iron you put on the fire, we hand washed our clothes on a washing board. I chopped wood, picked peas and cotton. i climbed trees and did everything my brothers did!
Me:..........
Gmama: you see i worked. i worked all my life. provided for my kids all by myself, now i just wanna rest.
Me:you deserve the rest.
We continued talking about the route that i would take in school and what my ambitions were. As we continued to talk i began to be filled with pride looking at MY grandma. MY grandmother-the first African American teacher's aide in the West Contra Costa School district. MY grandmother-raised SEVEN kids on her own! MY grandmother-who worked her whole life and is living in the house she brought! I couldn't be more proud to call her grandmama.
I think back to that old bill whiters song "grandma's hands" and i refer to what my grandma always tells me still: depend on yourself...
Thank you Grandma
Trice
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXiE6zYHo2Y
Me: So grandmama when you going back to Mississippi?
Grandma: Never! ain't nothing back there for me!
Me: All your folks back there...
Gmama:....
Me: grandmama do you remember your mother? Was she sweet?
Gmama: Was she? the nicest person i ever met. She taught me everything i know..about cooking, cleaning, taking care of children..
Me: What did she do for a living?
Gmama: cleaned up after white folks..see you my kids was spoiled. They used to mop the floor, i used a brush and scrubbed the floor. We used the iron you put on the fire, we hand washed our clothes on a washing board. I chopped wood, picked peas and cotton. i climbed trees and did everything my brothers did!
Me:..........
Gmama: you see i worked. i worked all my life. provided for my kids all by myself, now i just wanna rest.
Me:you deserve the rest.
We continued talking about the route that i would take in school and what my ambitions were. As we continued to talk i began to be filled with pride looking at MY grandma. MY grandmother-the first African American teacher's aide in the West Contra Costa School district. MY grandmother-raised SEVEN kids on her own! MY grandmother-who worked her whole life and is living in the house she brought! I couldn't be more proud to call her grandmama.
I think back to that old bill whiters song "grandma's hands" and i refer to what my grandma always tells me still: depend on yourself...
Thank you Grandma
Trice
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXiE6zYHo2Y
7.1.10
Today in Black History
Zora Neale Hurston is considered one of the pre-eminent writers of twentieth-century African-American literature. Hurston was closely associated with the Harlem Renaissance and has influenced such writers as Ralph Ellison, Toni Morrison, Gayle Jones, Alice Walker, and Toni Cade Bambara.
Some of her most famous works are:
Color Struck in Opportunity Magazine
Sweat
How It Feels to Be Colored Me
Hoodoo in America in The Journal of American Folklore
The Gilded Six-Bits
Jonah's Gourd Vine
Mules and Men
Tell My Horse
Their Eyes Were Watching God (which was made in 2005, the novel was adapted into a television movie of the same name starring Halle Berry. It was produced by Oprah Winfrey's Harpo Productions.)
Moses, Man of the Mountain
Dust Tracks on a Road
Seraph on the Suwanee
I Love Myself When I Am Laughing...and Then Again When I Am Looking Mean and Impressive: A Zora Neale Hurston Reader (edited by Alice Walker; introduction by Mary Helen Washington)
Sanctified Church
Spunk: Selected Stories
As a woman of African desent in America and a writer i am largely influenced by her and her works..i hope i make her proud!
info found on: http://www.zoranealehurston.com/& http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zora_Neale_Hurston
Some of her most famous works are:
Sweat
How It Feels to Be Colored Me
Hoodoo in America in The Journal of American Folklore
The Gilded Six-Bits
Jonah's Gourd Vine
Mules and Men
Tell My Horse
Their Eyes Were Watching God (which was made in 2005, the novel was adapted into a television movie of the same name starring Halle Berry. It was produced by Oprah Winfrey's Harpo Productions.)
Moses, Man of the Mountain
Dust Tracks on a Road
Seraph on the Suwanee
I Love Myself When I Am Laughing...and Then Again When I Am Looking Mean and Impressive: A Zora Neale Hurston Reader (edited by Alice Walker; introduction by Mary Helen Washington)
Sanctified Church
Spunk: Selected Stories
As a woman of African desent in America and a writer i am largely influenced by her and her works..i hope i make her proud!
info found on: http://www.zoranealehurston.com/& http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zora_Neale_Hurston
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