Look closer.....
I sincerely didn’t want my life to be as complicated as it. Shit just happens. Then I hear a little voice inside of me saying “you and you alone are sum of actions, those preformed or abandoned.” These days I fell tricked or just sedated.
Aloof.
I’ve detached myself from my heart and head. I shut myself out to tune my soul into a place that doesn’t resemble reality. I’ve learned to wallow and I hate it. On the brink of tears damn near everyday-because I allowed myself to dream and wish of a life I wished I had-with him. Hoping that giving him my body would make him see how much I’m willing to sacrifice just to be with him. But reality comes full force, no hold barred. Laughing in non-existent. Sleep is my only solace, but then the mistakes I’ve made find my in my dreams, yelling at me for choosing a certain death over a certain freedom. The freedom of knowing your worth, knowing your status, knowing he’s holding and kissing you because he sincerely likes you-not what you have to offer. I haven’t cried in so long; I’m scared to start now. Sitting here wondering why would I risk my life for the thought of what could be?
Today-I’m sad
