18.5.11

90 day rule out the door.



Energy from the very beginning, just didn't know which kind.
Light hearted conversations that were always meant to be more, but how much more? Because of our actions, am I even allowed to continue on with that line of questioning? Can anything inkling of energy be saved and cultivated? Reckless actions got me wondering what were your intentions from the start; mine as well. Your silence is all that was needed to confirm what it was you wanted. You asked me what I wanted, would I scare you away if I said, that it was you? How can I be sure if what I want is you? Maybe, I don’t want you—maybe I want what it is you have to offer. 

Penetration was never necessary, intimacy was what I wanted…but you gave unselfishly something more. You made me think clearly in a confused hour. Made me feel beautiful and safe, in what could've been an ugly, dangerous moment. Held me. That alone harnessed some of that energy you spoke of. I guess I'm just trying to say that if it all stopped here, I could accept that. I could accept the fact that this isn't the type of energy you wanted. You asked the ancestors and now I will.  After all I've said, I'd be a lie if I said I didn’t want one more kiss, one more hug, one more look—a little bit more of that energy. 

Trice

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