9.12.09

I'll Make Myself A World (inspired by Saul Williams)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nktBsI0PYPs (Watch me)

When i was younger i used to be ashamed of the life that the ancestors gave to me. Used to be scared to bring friends home and let them see my living conditions. Now in retrospect i am stupefying grateful for everything that i had and still do endure. I sincerely believe that everything that has happened to me is for the betterment of my soul. But i must say that when i couldn't cope i made myself a world.


I would become entrenched and entrapped with music. specially Stevie Wonder, Donny Hathaway and Mary J. Blige. I would study their vocal tones and read the lyrics over and over again until i knew every word-this would keep me sane in my tremulous world. I would dream of life that didn't so closely resemble hell(American Beauty)lol. Through reading and studying about different countries struck by famine, poverty, war and genocide i quickly became grateful for my situation.

I was raised with my sisters ( we didn't get separated) , and i found strength and a love for myself. I couldn't be more appreciative for my life. The ultimate freedom is a mind free of fear and worry(Baayan Bakari)-and i am pleased to say that with much work and the help/guidance of the my earthly and spiritually ancestors, i am on my way to a better place.

But sometimes, i am tempted to return back to that dream world. To run down that rabbit hole as fast as i can when shit get hectic-but then i realize-i am exactly where i need to be. right place, right time, right state of mind.


Peace
trice

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